The Divorce Coach

What have I achieved this year?

How to reinforce your strengths and move forwards

At this time of the year there are countless TV shows and magazine columns devoted to reviews of the year. But what about our own year's review?

Just before Christmas I was bemoaning to a coaching friend about all the things I haven’t done and needed to catch up on over the festive period. She was more interested in what I had done and encouraged me to take time out to list all my achievements and what I’ve learned. It was a great exercise and really reinforced my strengths.

So what have you done, what has and hasn’t happened …and more importantly what have you learned? It’s so easy to overlook all the rich learning held in what hasn’t happened and remember the disappointments, so take some time to think about, write down and celebrate everything you have achieved this year. Give yourself credit. It’s really important that you note what you’ve achieved…no matter how small you might think it is it will reinforce your strengths.

Now think about the stuff that you weren’t so happy about and what you did learning from these disappointments. The low points and the disappointments hold clues to what’s important to you, where to focus your attention and how to move ahead. Now ask yourself “how can I use my strengths, passions, talents, support and knowledge to help me move forward?”

New Year – new plans?

‘What do you need to do to make sure next year is better?’

To those readers who didn't have a great Christmas, I ask:>

‘What do you need to do to make sure next year is better?’

The way you answer could have a huge bearing on how next year shapes up.

If you would like some help in answering this question and finding ways to move forwards (especially if you have tried yourself, unsuccessfully to resolve it) then I may be able to help.

E-mail me in confidence with a couple of paragraphs outlining the problem, what you have done so far to resolve it and where you are stuck and I will reply promptly with some suggestions of ways you could help yourself move on.

Simple Steps to help save Money in Divorce

Litigation or Resolution - Finding a divorce strategy which works

The choice to reach agreement about divorce either outside or in court ought to be yours - after all, the settlement you reach (or the judge reaches) will have a huge bearing on the rest of your life.

For those who can agree to stay out of court - read on. If you can't stay out of court, or if you are being taken there by a partner – read my blog here which will give you some helpful insight.

Choosing Your Solicitor

If your lawyer is a trained mediator, a collaborative lawyer and a member of Resolution  or all of these, then they will certainly run through the conflict resolution processes with you and answer your questions. And with National Family Mediation stating that 68% of clients reach agreement through mediation when discussing child issues only, and 80% of couples resolving "all issues" (child/property/financial) isn't it worth that extra bit of emotional effort to at least try it mediation - or the other dispute resolution methods?

The above is an extract from our free divorce help guide ’Simple Steps to save serious Money in Divorce’ available by clicking here. 

Learn why resolution methods cost you less than litigation, but also how you can prepare for a court appearance if this is where you have to go to achieve a settlement. Find out what you can expect your lawyer to do for you, and where to find a good one. Can you afford to ignore your emotions and can you afford to divorce? You will find many answers here in this course which aren't easy to find elsewhere. 

Kirsten Gronning
The Divorce Coach

Free Divorce Help - ‘Simple Steps to save serious money’

Day 1 - Finding a divorce strategy which works and won’t waste valuable assets

What can you do?  - Take stock of resources, needs and values.

Needs

Concentrate on the positive – what are your basic needs? 

·    Put any children's needs before your own, at least to start with. Talk to them; reassure them you will always be there for them. Tell them you will love them always. And never bad-mouth your (ex) partner in front of them or use your children to 'spy' on your (ex) partner.

·    A need for help. Ask for help from family and friends but treat their advice with caution - their own interests may conflict with yours and your family's.

·    If you have children, try for their sake to maintain a relationship with your spouse, albeit a different relationship. You need to communicate effectively to make the transition for your children as smooth as possible - if you don't, the children may be the ones shouldering the burden for arranging contact and other practicalities - is this fair?

This is an extract from our free guide ’Simple Steps to save serious Money in Divorce’ available by clicking here. 

Learn why resolution methods cost you less than litigation, but also how you can prepare for a court appearance if this is where you have to go to achieve a settlement. Find out what you can expect your lawyer to do for you, and where to find a good one. Can you afford to ignore your emotions and can you afford to divorce? You will find many answers here in this course which aren't easy to find elsewhere. 

Kirsten Gronning
The Divorce Coach