The Divorce Coach

Seriously, who can really help with my divorce?

The Divorce Coach

The Divorce Coach helps divorcing people who can’t see how they can divorce. Our form of divorce help bridges the gap between expensive legal services and advice from friends. By using our services clients save emotional energy, time and money.

People who are looking for divorce help often feel discontent by the services available knowing they would like to take control themselves, rather than putting everything in the hands or their lawyer or (ex) partner.They know they’d like to think that they were making their own decisions, yet being properly helped on the legal, financial, emotional and practical fronts when necessary.
They’re not alone in looking for help through divorce and not readily finding it; in not knowing where to turn or who to ask for a second opinion.

Divorce Coaching can help them find the necessary balance between the divorce process and getting on with the rest of their life. We are divorce planning experts helping you to clarify the options available and make better choices. Click here to learn about the options available when planning for separation and divorce and how The Divorce Coach helps you to make your own decisions and look at all your options in divorce - after all, you know more about your own situation than anyone else.

Our cost-effective divorce help complements services available from other divorce professionals and we help you to achieve the best possible outcome. We encourage you to minimise litigation as far as possible, but we offer Courtroom Coaching to help you prepare for an appearance in court in order to achieve a best possible outcome.

You will see a best possible split and a successful start to a new life for yourself and your family can be within reach when you take a few minutes to browse our site and the help we offer: as well as 1:2:1 support we run divorce workshops with other professionals; an inexpensive eCourse, a FREE newsletter and links to some the best divorce help available. Click here to find out whether The Divorce Coach could help you.

Kirsten Gronning
The Divorce Coach

Help in Court

More Courtroom Coaching Feedback

Last week I wrote a long case study of 'Barry' who had a much better understanding of the reality of the situation and his expectations in court for his divorce case as a result of the help he received as part of the Courtroom Coaching pilot. Read more here.

The pilot needs a handful more cases - people who are facing a court appearance - any appearance - and needing some emotional and practical support. This is FREE help to prepare for a courtroom appearance (for the duration of the pilot.) This support is also appropriate for an employment tribunal case, family and children related, a civil dispute - even a crown court jury member!

Here's some more feedback from some grateful Courtroom Coaching coachees:

Julian had changed solicitors when he met Shelagh by chance in court (Shelagh Goldie is the lawyer in charge of the pilot.) He was in court on a domestic violence case (he being abused by his wife) which was having a serious effect on his health. Afterwards he said ' It (Courtroom coaching) calmed me down a bit and helped me feel better about my legal case.'

Shelagh reports: 'Julian now feels much better and certainly sounded like a different man on the phone. He said he didn't win but he did felt that he was well prepared and did all that he could. Our work had helped him accept the outcome as realistic.

Julian said: 'Even now, this telephone conversation (after the court case was over) helps me big time - it gives me closure and helps me get on with my life.'

Eric was referred by his lawyer at Withy King, solicitors, on an employer liability case which had started three years earlier. The case settled out of court shortly before the hearing with an offer Eric's solicitor made - and the other side accepted. Shelagh writes 'Eric is very pleased.'

On Courtroom coaching Eric said' "It was very good. It calmed my nerves and made me realise that they are not there to prosecute me but that they will listen and make an informed decision.

The court visit allayed my fears. I saw it was a much more intimate place than I had feared. I thought the whole thing was handled very well, and my fears of meeting a stranger in court who would question me completely disappeared."

There'll be many more case stories appearing on the Courtroom coaching website shortly (presently under re-development.) Watch this space!

The pilot needs a handful more cases - this can be an employment tribunal, family and children related, a civil dispute, even a crown court jury member!

Do let me know if we can help anyone you know going to court! Read more here about Courtroom Coaching.

Kirsten Gronning

Feedback from Barry who was worried sick about going to court

How Can I Prepare For Court?

Shelagh Goldie is the lawyer in charge of the pilot and reports how Courtroom Coaching has helped 'Barry H' prepare for his appearance in court. Barry was referred by his solicitor at Withy King in Bath on a divorce case.

Shelagh writes that Courtroom Coaching has helped him:

• To prepare for the experience.
• Understand the process and the actual preparation he should do - e.g. learning how to keep calm.
• To instruct his solicitor more clearly and helped him understand the reality of the situation, the worst outcome and the best outcome.
• Helped him to see things from different people's point of view - he had not fully contemplated his options prior to our work with him.
• Have a much better understanding of the no blame and no punishment approach. He said it highlighted that the law is an ass!
• Recognise that his behaviour would not be taken into account in any settlement, but rather it would focus on needs.

The negotiations:

• He said he felt he was taking a more pragmatic approach on the day of the negotiations and his solicitors had mentioned this.
• It gave him closure and helped him handle things better.
• He had a better understanding of his expectations.
• Previously his solicitor had mentioned that he was idealistic and had been unreasonably optimistic.
• He was now more pragmatic and felt he listened better rather than trying to pursue a pointless avenue.
• He had a better realisation of accepting the actual situation as it is, not what he wanted it to be.

How Barry felt:

• It forced him to evaluate what he was really expecting to get out of the settlement.
• It helped him to realise how he had to be very focused on how to answer and not be drawn into something he did not want to say - how to handle the grey areas.
• He felt generally this was good preparation for court and how to handle the divorce process.

In advance of a national roll-out of the Courtroom Coaching programme early next year to help people prepare emotionally, psychologically and physically for a court appearance the pilot needs a handful more cases.

So do you know anyone who's worried sick about going to court whom we could help (free of charge for the duration of the pilot)?

This is not just for family cases - your friend/family member/acquaintance might be facing an employment tribunal; a civil dispute; or even a crown court jury member.

PS. As coaches we prepare clients for their experience in court and under no circumstances do we rehearse, coach or discuss the evidence or detail of the case.

Kirsten Gronning
The Divorce Coach

When Should I Divorce?

Should I stay or should I go?

Inexpensive help and answers to these and many other questions around divorce will be on the minds of people in very unhappy relationships now. Help can be found in The Divorce Coach eCourse How to Successfully Split.

'Is now a good time to divorce or should I wait until the beginning of 2008?'

'Is my marriage really over?'

'How can we afford to divorce?'

Whether you are still reading this for your own sake or on behalf of a friend whose marriage is in difficulty, these are three of the most difficult questions facing anyone in a crumbling relationship. The answers will be even more evasive if you have children together, or if are unable to communicate effectively with your spouse.

Our downloadable eCourse provides clarity, making divorce less difficult and more affordable. Readers - whether they are well down the divorce route or just thinking it might be a possibility, or even if they are curious or looking for some help for a friend - will be encouraged to think deeply about the issues which present themselves in serious marriage breakdown. The eCourse will provide many tools to help overcome the issues including tools to help readers help themselves answer the above questions.

Click here to learn how this inexpensive eCourse has helped divorcing men and women find answers to their divorce questions. It may not be what you need in your stocking but it will help you to feel better about your situation and what you can do to improve it.

Kirsten Gronning

The Divorce Coach

Courtroom coaching - FREE help & divorce advice

Providing help with a divorce courtroom appearance

People are increasingly finding us when they are looking for help and support because they are facing a divorce court hearing. They want to improve their performance in court and have the best chance of success.

This is what we hear:

I want help to present myself in an attentive way
I don't want to get annoyed or flippant
I need to separate the emotion from the facts
I need to understand the role of the judge and the barristers
I need to achieve a best possible outcome

How Courtroom coaching can help:

Prepare for the experience;

Understand the court process and the preparation which can be done e.g. in keeping calm;

To instruct lawyers more clearly and calmly;

To focus on how to answer and not be drawn into saying things you don't want to say;

To understand the reality of the situation and the best and worst outcome.

How did it help - quotes from clients in the pilot study in the divorce courts:

It calmed me down..and helped me feel better about my legal case

This telephone conversation (after the court case was over) helps me big-time - it gives me closure and helps me get on with my life.
Julian - West Country

In advance of a national roll-out of the Courtroom Coaching programme early next year to help people prepare emotionally, psychologically and physically for a court appearance the pilot needs a handful more cases. Read more here about the progamme.

So do you know anyone who's worried sick about going to court whom we could help? (FREE of charge for the duration of the pilot.)

This is not just for family cases - your friend/family member/acquaintance might be facing an employment tribunal; another civil dispute; or even a crown court jury member.

PS. As coaches we prepare clients for their experience in court and under no circumstances do we rehearse, coach or discuss the evidence or detail of the case.

Kirsten Gronning
The Divorce Coach

Inspiration Post-Divorce

A Cool Challenge Post Divorce

Gabriella Guglielminotti Trivel became a client last year and emerged from her divorce this summer with a mission to ‘inspire others to get back in contact with themselves..’

Gabriella’s journey through an acrimonious divorce, which took her from the depths of despair in a fight through court with her ex husband and led to her subsequent mission to help other people set themselves free of limiting beliefs and phobias is related in an interview on our website.

In order to stretch herself and confront some of her own limits, fears and conditioning she is joining an expedition to Antarctica with the explorer Peter Bland. You can read more here her low points, her new found confidence and her tips for others going through a divorce with a spouse who is unwilling to negotiate.

Gabriella’s inspiring story of someone who plumbed the depths of divorce but who is now finding a new way of life - being true to her own beliefs and values – in divorce is the first of many inspirational case stories I'll be posting on my site in the months to come.

‘Raising Happy Children for Dummies’

Sue Atkins author of the book ‘Raising Happy Children for Dummies’ and founder of Positive Parents writes in her book:

A bad marriage can make parenting – and life in general – stressful. The loss of the family structure can be very upsetting and distressing for everyone involved in the major change.

Despite divorce being on the increase around the world, parents often feel at a loss when searching for practical support. They also feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, resentful, or completely frozen in panic about how to handle the changes in their family’s way of life.

Sometimes this fear manifests itself as animosity, which turns the whole divorce process into a battle, with children trapped in the middle and feeling powerless.

Divorce needn’t be like this. Parents can make positive, healthy choices during this very emotional time and make the transition less painful for everyone.

Divorce isn’t about winners and losers. It’s about working out a way to handle the separation with dignity and compassion and minimising the disruption to your children emotionally.

Sue’s section ‘Navigating Through Divorce’ in her book offers numerous approaches and strategies for making the experience of divorce as positive and healthy as possible. We have reproduced it with Sue’s kind permission as an article on our website here called ‘Raising Happy Children for Dummies’ – Coping with Divorce.

To read the full 'Early November' Newsletter please click here

Debenhams Separated and Successful Club

The Divorce Coach in the Daily Mail

I was delighted to spend a day with Bel Mooney, Trisha Goddard, Colleen Nolan in the Separated and Successful (SAS) club which celebrates women who have been through divorce, but have gone from strength-to-strength.

Bel Mooney summed up the idea behind the club beautifully when she wrote in the Daily Mail Femail magazine on 15th October:

‘Life should be a continuous process of re-invention; overhaul your style and you may well find that your soul runs joyfully to keep up. One of my missions in life is to encourage people to believe they can change. That’s why I became a model for a day for Debenhams, who asked me and other well known divorcees to show clothes from its new collection.

The message we wanted to get across was that women of a certain age can go through the pain and stress of divorce and come out the other side all the stronger – and even more determined to make something of themselves and their lives. It was a message all four of us were proud to endorse.

Click here to read the full article and to see the most glam picture ever of me (yes, I ditched the trousers for the day!) and my blog here about my one of my key messages which was fundamental to this campaign for me: that if you don't look after yourself, who else will, a message that applies as much to men as it does to women.

How Do I Get A Divorce?

Where do I find help and information to help with my divorce?

The Divorce Coach 'How to Successfully Split' eCourse helps to answer many of the questions which crop up in divorce: eg. is it really over; how do we split the finances; what are my options through divorce; can I cope alone?

The eCourse is sent over two weeks in seven parts to give you a chance to think about the content of each part before the next part arrives. You can of course work on it in one hit if you prefer after allowing for delivery in your in-box over two weeks. Whichever way you chose, the eCourse can help you gain control by enabling you to think around problems and issues so that you can move onwards and forwards if this is what you have to do and you are committed to the process.

The eCourse is written by Kirsten Gronning, founder of The Divorce Coach and stems from her own protracted divorce experience. Whilst she successfully divorced without paying lawyers a small fortune, she knows it's often easier said than done to get a successful split, especially if you are unfortunate in having a (ex) spouse bent on revenge, in denial or litigious (or a combination!) She walks her talk - testament to the fact that there really is life after divorce, but in order to find that new life you have to confront what is going on and deal with it, whilst aiming for the best possible ending.

Limited Offer - in response to subscribers requests, for the rest of November we are giving away free e-mail support for the duration of the course to help you make the best of the eCourse for your situation. After ordering, simply drop us an e-mail with your eCourse related query at info@divorcecoaching.co.uk and we shall get back to you within 24 hours with a helpful reply guaranteed to help you move forwards.

The Divorce Coach 'How to Successfully Split' eCourse £39 with FREE unlimited e-mail support for the duration of the eCourse is available to download here.

Divorce Help - Ways to Make It Cheaper

Help through Divorce with an eCourse

If you’re looking to move forwards in your separation or divorce – to clarify whether it is really over, or progress a split - and feel you want to know more about the process ahead of you by seeking clarity now, find help by downloading our eCourse to help you see where you are and what you can do.

The highly successful eCourse called 'How to Successfully Split'  is just £39 and is sent over two weeks in seven parts to your PC. It will help you see there really is a way forward, whatever that means for you and that it is possible to have a cheap divorce. Click here for more information and to order now.